So, all day yesterday I kept thinking to myself, "Why does my ass hurt (and not in the good way)?" and then I remembered, I had sex last night.
Here's the new problem I'm faced with: even if Car Boy was the worlds biggest asshat, I have to admit that he may have been my sexual soul mate. We always commented, post orgasmicly to each other that we were anatomically "made for each other". Like God said, "LipSmacker, he's an asshat but I'm gonna make it up to by giving you a present in his pants." Thanks God.
I know New Guy never stood a chance at pleasing me but now I fear that no man will be able to give me the same sexual experience I've been blessed with the last 11 months. To his credit, I will give him an A for effort and I didn't let him pull out all his "ticks" because I just wanted to get it over with at that point. However, I guess my level of expectation has been sorely elevated to almost unrealistic expectations.
Maybe I should take a cue from Jenna Jamison and get a latex mold of my vagina made so that I can "audition" all of the new men in my life to be sure that it's the right "fit". Until that happens, I'll just have to settle for some "emotional satisfaction" while I let these new guys adore me.
In other news, I have a job interview today! The even better news is that it's with my former company and they called me!! I didn't even have to put down my cocktail to send them an updated resume!! So it seems that things are starting to go my way again now that I don't have a 260lb baby to take care of anymore! Now if I can just find a permanent place to live so I can stop crashing on friends couches and my puppy will stop giving me the guilty, "I'm so homeless" look!
Wish me luck!!!
P.S. Why do I suddenly have a huge crush on Seth Rogan and Optimus Prime???
7 Kisses:
I have a crush on Bumblebee!!! And you know I had that same problem, my ex and I were like sex on a stick but there was nothing else.... but that doesnt make a relationship... then again you dont need to be in writhing pain bc some guy doesnt know which way is up! xxxoo
oh i feel you on the sexual soulmate thing. i had a "booty call" that went on for about 3 years.... he and i were.... well a perfect fit. but only in THAT area. that boy lives an effed up life... but now that i have moved on and know that its not good to just keep sleeping with him (trust me, it was very hard to let go) i wonder if i will ever find someone who will fit like that again.
oh my i hope i do... that was a fun 3 years.... *sigh*
Good luck!
Good Luck!
Good luck with the job interview! As for men in the pants, don't worry about it, you come across another one eventually! In the meantime, you should just get Jenna Jameson's molded vagina out and audition the boys one by one just for amusement. That being said, I wonder how they managed to make that mold....hahahhaha
.... go on and get your groove back... with or without a guy ;)
OMG, dump him dump him DUMP him. This guy is a complete cling on, and the sex isn't even good. Sure sometimes it takes time to get the right balance of chemistry, but with all his other flaws, aka neediness, that just isn't going to go away!
Good luck with the job interview though. And hopefully you'll dump New Guy and realize it's alright to be single and go play for a bit. Enjoy it!
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